I think you will see that we are ALL, de-constructing our cult lives and re-building our real ones as best as possible here.

I can relate to your history. I have spent much time in therapy and also many years drinking my past away. I would say since joining Ex Premie .org, I have confronted my cult involvement head on, and it's making more sense every day, painful as it was to awaken from that dream.

Recently stated by one regular here (paraphrasing) "you have to get back to zero, before you can really see where you've been" (within this cult). Often reading other's testimonies, I am both angry and in disbelief. But never sad...that would be admitting defeat. He does not deserve any further gratification from exploiting us, in my opinion. 

And actually I have no idea what he thinks, he obviously doesn't miss any of us. We are the matches that didn't light...after all. Fuck him. He's an enigma wrapped inside bad joke of a guru. Sigh... 

That last thread stirred me, about slave labor around the Rez. I was just thinking to post again that what I observed over the years...as I got closer to his "off stage" life. Was that the closer you got to him, the more whacked the environment became around him. 

And premies compromised themselves wholesale: their natural sensibilities, their common sense, their health and safety, their futures, their aspirations and interests, their basic intelligence and much more.

Thank you for posting, and to Inis and Rawatcher. Sorry for the incomplete sentences, I'm just firing off.