Re: Who Knows? Not Even the Shadow
Re: Re: Who Knows? Not Even the Shadow -- lesley Top of thread Post Reply Forum
Posted by:
SuzyQ ®

05/11/2017, 06:36:32
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Dear Lesley, Thanks for your engagement and the respect. I have no problem with your disagreement Of course we all must disagree and I would probably try to persuade you to stick with helping world peace in your own backyard instead of attending the meditation retreat. Only because over time we have started to get to know one another and I care. Otherwise I question myself if it is really my business

I guess I feel it is an intimacy to share experiences on here. And an intimacy to read here. The whole forum has a closeness about it

Through love and living I've found manners and respect to be the things that are easily dismissed at times when they are often more necessary. 
Sustenance of connections in my view requires more manners and respect than we are used to giving or receiving. 

Even when dealing with abusive narcs who are not to be messed with, one of my most effective communication tools so far has been extreme manners. I mean next level, I rack it up a notch on purpose. 
No is still most definitely and emphatically no and I disagree is still I disagree and hopefully without any back handed swipes at their character I try to outline why. There might be an entire spectrum of judgement going on at the time in me, I might have several buttons pushed at once but from experience and hard knocks i have noticed manners works! and if I cannot muster respect I find courtesy works just as well. If only I could always remember that when it comes to those that matter most to me. It is something I make a concerted effort towards.

Communication is a miracle as far as I'm concerned. I marvel that we do it at all, or that it is so important to us, every day.
 Yet we take hardly any time to hone our skills  when it can be one of the things that can make or break a situation. It's under the dominion of our free will.I think it's the beginning of our free will. It's our voices, needing to be heard

Having said that I spend more and more time alone lately. I'm attending to the art of listening to nature, each tree has it's own song I was reading today, according to the drip patterns and winds and birds accompanying. The whole of life is communicating in a cadence of love and beauty in some moments. 
I like that.
I try and hold that space, remind myself that we are all created equal, it helps me to accept the ways things are communicated between people, and between me and other people often times imperfectly. 
When it's an intimacy shared I try to suspend my judgments, not to say they don't arrive, but I question my right at that point, because if I want to hear someone try to share something of heart, even though the cultural references or the context, the vocabulary, the language or the mannerisms might even grate on me, my buttons might be pushed (heaven help us) even though any or all of that may be going on for a second in me I may want to quell my reactions for a moment (stifle if you like) 
why?
Because I want to feel my whole self listening first. 
It's not something I've always done, I'm still honing the skills but I have noticed most of my judgments are largely superficial, unless considered. 
I found it difficult to read the entire email of footkisser (yes, unfortunate name choice) all the way through at one sitting. I needed time to assimilate what he was saying behind what he was saying. Not every situation calls for suspending judgement of course but it is a requirement of listening.
There is a whole other geo /political argument that I don't find as interesting or as interpersonal relating, which others are much better at.
To me communication is a miracle in it's own right and is something everyone pretty much takes for granted. 

In the beginning was the Word






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