Yes indeed, I'm still getting to the bottom of the NV syndrome. Quite a turn around. I have to remind myself once in a while that I deserve to feel good, much like Cynthia was saying, it's not a full time job unravelling the post traumatic stress,making room for some actual self reflection.When I look at Prem Rawat and his motivations and how he copes (or not) with his inner being and all his mad influence I figure I'm doing just fine. I'm glad I still want to do better,to extend a more loving influence, the higher qualities of self in my world.
With Prem Rawat what looked like giving was in fact taking. I am glad I have more discernment. Thanks to you all