just thinking about it yesterday - it seems everything was more or less a preparation for when you die - this life - what you become or can offer didnt matter
nothing really mattered except devotion - much of ambition was deemed fraught - because it didnt matter in this life.
everything felt - and i mean everything - like i should feel guilty about not putting in enough effort to become this perfect devotee
dont put any effort to become this or say that - because it was just a distraction to becoming one with god
