your description of your suppression was the part that i i cant wrap my head around - still. I too was extremely gifted in many things - but the only thing that mattered was the worshipping of m.
The ashram could have have been a place to develop skills and creativity - but because it was being led by someone who couldnt address those things and because the ashram was steeped in indian culture of suppression and renouncing - it fu---- me and others up
Some of us are still grappling with the mixed messages of the past - and the poverty and the worshiping - of the past.
