You succinctly captured the dilemma:

Tons of creative energy that could only be expressed in an extremely restricted artistic environment -- perhaps best characterized as "mirroring the master" -- whereby any deviation of expression brought on the ridicule and scourge of the (in your) "mind barrier" premie goon squad (of which I was a card carrying member in good standing).

This is no exaggeration.  For eight years, I lived in Maharaji's shelter in which popular music, radio, television, books, magazines, newspapers, movies, schooling, careers, family, non-cult friends, intimate relationships, children and so much more were forbidden -- all without a car, money or possessions of my own.

Well, not exactly.  We were allowed "And It Is Divine," "Divine Times," "One Foundation" music tapes and a few others, and all the Rawat VHS tapes and audio cassettes we wanted -- so we weren't entirely media deprived.

Even after the ashrams closed, we weren't truly released.  Instead, we were supposed to make all that "portable" so Rawat didn't have to be burdened with any liability for our well being or lack thereof.  (The sadness of owning a beautiful guitar and only wanting to play "Leaving Your Lotus Feet" and other cult sanction songs on it.)

How in hell is anyone supposed to find a creative outlet?

(sentence deliberately truncated)

Cheers to the still young part!